21 Comments
User's avatar
Bob Wallace's avatar

Yes, I know that feeling. 40 some years ago I was on a yacht anchored in one of the most beautiful anchorages I have ever seen when my father finally was able to get through to the yacht owner in New York (rich owners like to maintain their privacy) to let me know that my mother had died. Ironically the name of the yacht was 'Antares'. Built by Arthur Holgate in Cape Town.

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

That's a REALLY big phone call, Bob. I can feel you all these years later; the heart stops a little. I lost mine way too young, too.

Quite an irony, indeed, in the name of the vessel. The one I'll wrangle home shares no resemblance...of that much we can be sure, but the anchorages will be memorably beautiful. We'll make that happen. Take joy wherever it is available.

I truly appreciate you sharing this. Thank you. ~J

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Sweet friends... I'm sorry for the loss of this hardy soul in the sailing community and for the void it leaves in his dear partner's life. In the best sense of the southern expression, bless your hearts for stepping in to help in this part of their journey.

I remember using a payphone, in Easton, to call Jim after the pregnancy test came back positive. We'd been in MD for about a week and were, as yet, unemployed. I was so afraid he'd be distraught, but he was elated.

I remember my mother calling to tell me my father was gone. She'd been trying to reach me all night, but I couldn't hear the phone ringing from behind my closed bedroom door. I've slept with a phone in my room ever since.

Life turns on a dime. Appreciated this story very much, Janice. Appreciate you very much.

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

Oh, THANK YOU! I wasn't sure about this one but when the heartstrings tug we need to share those lessons, that's why we're here, right? The sharing of the burdens and the learning curve. Hard to learn that way about your father, hard for both of you on that call, for certain; my heart thudded for your mom. Those moments are never forgotten, they don't even diminish, do they? We have a mutual appreciation thing going very strongly here, my friend.

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

🩷

Expand full comment
Amy Cowen's avatar

What a sad call... I'm glad that you all are able to help, and I hope that the other half of the couple and the dog are doing okay. I can only imagine how deeply true the line, "the ANTARES may never be the same" feels for them. Safe travels.

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

Right, Amy? So much of our days are perspective and it often takes a shock for me to reassess what's important...thanks for your comments, always! I did make a few other phone calls this week, too...J

Expand full comment
Switter’s World's avatar

I was talking to friend in South America from a former Soviet republic when a gruff Boris Badenov voice cut in and said only Russian, Turkish, or English conversations were allowed.

Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they weren’t listening.

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

You just never know what you're going to get, do you, Switter??!! It's a connected and confusing world out there. Hike on.

Expand full comment
Larry Peck's avatar

Many memories of my days sailing from Town Creek in the Chesapeake to the Abacos with Meriah, so reading your story about Will fills me with sadness. The wonderful thing, however, is that he could be there there in Hopetown for his final days!

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

That is most certainly the happiness of it, right? If life can end in our favorite place, doing our favorite thing.

We should all be so bold as to keep doing something lots of folks think we're no longer capable of...

Expand full comment
Jeanine Kitchel's avatar

In Mexico it was only pay phones for so long, Janice. You remember. So sorry about your friend. Saludos, amiga.

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

I do and so many of them had no dial tone...ironically, when we go get her we will be unconnected for that week, anyway...a flashback to the days of old. I appreciate your empathy--as we age, we lose friends and hopefully gain wisdom; we shall see. J

Expand full comment
Spike's avatar

I really like that one!!! ;)

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

AH!! When I can write something that inspires the non-commenters among us I KNOW I did the best I could do. Thanks, Spike, means the world. J

Expand full comment
Ramona Grigg's avatar

I so remember those payphones. They were our lifelines when we were out somewhere needing help or advice or just the sound of a familiar voice as we traveled to who knows where? Landlines were stationary, tethered to a wall. You had to be there in order to use them.

But either way, the telephone was and is the instrument of good or bad news. Joy or dread. They don't discriminate.

I love your rescue story. The telephone was the crucial lifeline, but without the human factor none of it could have happened. ❤️

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

I was watching a documentary about Apple and they were laughing about carrying a computer in your pocket...and here we are! Too connected some days, I think? I have put the phone out of sight to focus and that's crazy! So easy to just look something up rather than concentrate and remember, or think of something I should have responded to. And yet, yes, lifelines in more ways than one. Did you have party lines in MN? My Grandmother Pearl had that.

Thanks for your kind words and appreciation for what we are doing, Mona; it means a lot. Hope the ice has melted for you. J

Expand full comment
Eileen Dougharty's avatar

Seeing that pay phone made me think about how much our relationship with the phone has changed. No one was expected to be available every minute of the day when we were young. And life's trajectory can be altered in a heartbeat as you mentioned. Wishing safe travels to all involved in your relocation mission. I think of you often as the east coast weather has been so unpredictable this year. xoxo

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

Is it too much, Eileen? I can be working along and someone will get frustrated that I have not checked my messages and gotten back to them...ummm I want to ask....remember the days of home answering machines?! An octagenarian friend of mine just lets her messages stack up until the machine doesn't answer any more. It works! We all keep calling....

Your kind thoughts on the complexity of our little mission are so appreciated; Mother Nature is tossing things around right now, isn't she? Let's hope it's not us at the end of the month...

Expand full comment
Keith Halfmann's avatar

It’s amazing that you will be able to help get your friend, fuzzy dog and boat back home. You two are great friends and terrific human beings. Karma will take great care of you!

Expand full comment
Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

Miss Karma is alive and well; I am a true believer and appreciate your words very much. I don't know if there's anything more important than taking care of those in our inner circle when push comes to shove.

You find out who your friends are when helping is inconvenient...or when you're moving! ~J

Expand full comment