THIS WEEK WE SPAR WITH HUMAN NATURE
I Have Begun to Swear Like a Sailor
Did Sailors always swear? Were they well-mannered and friendly long ago? What started the foul-mouthed trajectory? Disloyalty amongst the crew? Thieving Pirates? The weather? Being cheated? Do they really swear more than other professions or is that just what we’ve always been told? Google AI recounts that a 1699 sermon by Puritan Preacher Cotton Mather (the name is familiar if you’ve heard of the Salem Witch Trials) coined the phrase as sailors were known for their “colorful language and expletive-laden speech.” Even using the word damn was a highly provocative act, according to sailingscuttlebutt.com. ”Damning someone to hell was putting yourself on par with the Almighty, something that was taken very seriously.” Well, hell. Some folks deserve to go there, don’t they? We just have to hope that the Higher Power gets it right.
I was one of those perky positive individuals. Little phased me. I believed in everyone. I’ve spent most of my years well-mannered and friendly, as perhaps sailors were before too many transgressions and impending rogue waves colored their vernacular. Now, I’m letting the assholes get me down. The expression used to be “Don’t let the Turkeys get you down,” but that doesn’t seem quite strong enough. I’m fighting it, (I swear!), to no avail. Frighteningly, insidiously, I think it’s happening; Human Nature has taken a turn for the worse. More and more people choose to ignore, cheat, lie, steal, overstep and shirk. Am I right? Or has it just been my #*@% bad luck to run into a few? You decide.
Last week we answered an internet ad for a used work van, made contact and arrangements to meet, rented a car, drove three hours. The first seller showed up in a filthy vehicle smoking a cigarette. What he was driving did not remotely resemble what was posted on his page for sale. The second seller was a rough looking tradesman, but believable. Oh so believable. After test-drive, negotiation and an exchange of cash, we started the engine to leave and three check engine lights came on(!). We asked for our money back; the thick envelope was still in his hand. He turned away, left his slippers outside the front door, locked it and sent a text message that said. “You bought it. Sorry.”
We stood in his dark, deserted driveway, astonished that this con man had so little conscience. I swore like a Sailor. Within twelve hours the transmission failed, tire pressures plummeted, the wiring had issues. I am quite certain (and want to believe) that man is damned to hell whether it’s my words that send him there or not.
Here’s another example of Academy Award Winners in their roles of down-on-their-luck goodness. This couple lived on a sailboat, an old wooden schooner, under extensive refit in Cambridge, Maryland, USA. They were headed to the Caribbean with limited resources, a small child, two rabbits and a dog. If you believe in people you would say, wow! Impressive! We were charmed, taken in, and stayed in touch as they sailed down the coast of the US. At a favorite Island in the Bahamas, we gave them tactical guidance and local knowledge, asking favors of friends and acquaintances to fulfill their extensive needs. The generous Bahamians rented that couple a house and a mooring, loaned them a motorboat and more, all on trust. All on promises of payment after services were rendered. We were told that they departed that peaceful, religious island leaving thousands of dollars of unpaid debt, just like they left a local boatyard without paying their bill. They embarrassed us and cursed themselves as we discovered their amazing ability to betray. My blood still boils a bit recounting the story, although I have almost let it go.
It used to be easier to forgive those who trespassed against me. I believe that Karma will kick in and slap the bad people, hard. I cannot count how many times I have said to myself (and to everyone else) “Do unto others….” We all know the rest of the phrase, I think. If not, I’ll fill it in for you. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The Golden Rule, don’t screw your neighbor. Don’t be a jerk. Don’t lie, cheat or steal. Have consideration, generosity and empathy. Be kind.
People entering my realm of late have conducted themselves in such a way that instead of being able to let it go, these actions keep me awake at night, wondering WTF has happened to a society that used to care how its actions affected others. These are not drop-your-gum-on-the-sidewalk sort of indiscretions, what we are seeing are BIG, nasty, expensive, long-lasting crimes enacted by con artists. That art form I want to live without.
Most importantly, what if we all just go along with what seems like a trend? What a horrible, frightening thought! I don’t want to be that way, I don’t want to think that way. It scares me to death. I’m one of the good guys. (I swear! Again!) I’ve lived up to my end of the bargains I’ve made. I try my damnedest to do what I say I’m going to do.
Since I’m on a roll and as a planet we don’t seem to be abiding by the original Ten Commandments or the multitude of comparable versions thereof, I’m recommending a few more to keep in mind.
*IF someone reaches out to you, reply. It takes barely longer to say “No, thank you,” than it does to hit delete.
*IF I buy something, I want what I was told I was getting.
*IF you are selling something, the product should be what you say it is.
*IF I choose to do so I can endanger my life. You are not allowed to endanger my life with your carelessness, ignorance, stupidity or simple lack of consideration.
*IF greed influences your decisions unduly you won’t have true friends.
*IF you don’t practice common courtesy you should. It is the simple recognition of another person’s soul and indicates their importance.
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There were good things that happened this week, too. The destruction phase of our STEADFAST project is over and I heard this song, which reminded me of my Mother’s record (vinyl) collection. Man, she could belt out some classic country while she was cleaning on Saturday mornings. Think (if you’re old enough) Glen Campbell, Charlie Pride, Loretta Lynn, and every week John Denver crooned “How right it is to care…” If you don’t stop caring I won’t, either. I swear.
We all Spar With Human Nature, our own and others. Don’t let the assholes get you down. I’m back to caring, I’m back to positivity. I swear! Perhaps I can go back to not swearing like a Sailor. Or not, because, after all, I AM a Sailor! So I’m allowed. And the world is a bit confusing and very roundabout. Pay attention, if you care. Because What about tomorrow?
Writing this to you very important people has made me feel tremendously better. Chime in. Do you swear like a sailor?? And if so, under what circumstances? When do the assholes get you down? Betrayal? Injustice? Loss? Please do share. Thank you.
This week’s sunrise: A stunner. You can see all of them on Facebook YACHTING STEADFAST
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I’ve also noticed that conning someone & lying has become not only acceptable, but also commendable for some over the last decade or two. However, I do think that trend is beginning to dissipate. I am so sorry that you were taken advantage of…especially in such an uncaring manner. I try to tell myself to imagine how they grew up and what they must have been exposed to as a child. Children learn from experiences & I believe they had to have experienced devastating harm/trauma to become the adults they now are. It’s ok to swear like a sailor when we are angry. It helps us to get rid of the hurt. Then we can breathe and let it go. Your thoughtful writing has helped you let it go & remain the kind & thoughtful person you are.
Wow... Words can not express how sadly I feel for what you and Steve have been through. You have received a lot of meaningful advise and expressions of sorrow and concern. J, you know me. Nothing happens as a coincidence. There is a teaching or learning opportunity in all circumstances. The "world"
has its way of wiggling around any Godly laws, just as Satan did in the garden. Water down truth and it becomes a total lie, not a little lie, white like, it is total untruth. And oh yes, for over forty years of my life as an adult, my language could be and was often terrible. A dear friend once said, that this display was indicative of my limited vocabulary... the rest is history. "Dang it" ....